Is it autumn already ?!
No worries!
I've got you covered with my
unbelievably accurate (& serious!)
horoscopes to get you through
the season.
I’m the real deal !!
Predictions & art by:
Happy birthday, Libra!
Ehrm, my crystal ball’s a bit foggy…
(Wipes crystal) Perfect!
I see candles, cake, gifts… Yes, it’s clear to me now!
You’ll have a birthday party!
Scorpio, Scorpio, Scorpio…
I’d warn you not to get involved with that sweet, naive Aries,
but I know you won’t listen.
So, fine! Have your cake and eat it too!
Karma’s got a lovely gift
in store for you.
You’ll find a large (& I mean large!)
sum of money on the street!
Amazing, right?
It’s the universe toying with you!
Take that money and you’re unequivocally doomed.
That slippery Gemini in your life is no good for you!
Walk up to them and say,
‘I know you’ve been lying!’,
and watch the sweat drip down their forehead.
Attention !!
All of your dream dresses will be listed online
at ridiculously cheap starting bids !!
The catch is: You can’t buy them all!
If you dare to try, you’ll be outbid every single time.
Dearest Pisces,
You’re spending too much mental energy on trying to be “pretty”.
The sooner you realize everything is equal parts ugly and pretty,
the sooner you’ll be free from these mental shackles!
Ah, sweet love!
You’ll soon fall fast and hard for a special Scorpio,
but is it really meant to be?
No, you idiot!
Run as fast as you can !!
That coy little Virgo in your life is not
the innocent saint they pretend to be!
Be sure to let them know,
and don’t be shy about it!
So Gemini,
how long’s it take to put makeup on both your faces?
Your back-stabbing streak is finally coming back to bite you!
But, hey, look on the bright side…
Maybe you’ll learn your lesson once and for all.
Life’s been pretty drab lately, huh?
Don’t fret!
This season’s all about surprises for you!
Sure, some good, some bad…
But that’s what life’s all about!
Strap in and enjoy the ride!
You’ll spend all your money on second hand Vivienne Westwood
and live on Cup Noodles for the rest of the season!
A small price to pay!
Watch out, Virgo!
A smug Taurus will try their best to knock
the precious halo off your cute little head!
Don’t let it phase you,
and at all costs, just say NO!
Do you want to contribute art
for future horoscopes?
Email me!